Entering the Swinging Lifestyle: Soft or Full Swap?

Entering the Swinging Lifestyle: Soft or Full Swap?

When you first enter the lifestyle, a question you'll ask each other and will be asked by others is, “Are you a full swap or soft swap couple?” It's something to consider and know the answer to before you start to meet others, because the last thing you want is the awkwardness of not knowing. How do you decide? Well, it will depend on the two of you and perhaps on the other couple. The answer may even change depending on the situation. Remember, there are many ways to be comfortable as a swinger, and you need to find your own answers for yourselves as a couple.

What's the Difference?

Some people consider a soft swap to be just the ladies playing together but no exchanging of male-female partners. Others feel that no intercourse takes place with others in a soft-swap scenario. Of course, there are lots of other things you can do in a sexual situation besides intercourse! No matter whom you ask, it seems pretty clear that a full swap consists of the man in couple #1 having sex with the woman in couple #2 and vice versa. Naturally, if the couples are bisexual, there are other options that can occur in a full swap.

Establish Your Ground Rules

Whether you choose soft or full swap, if you want your experience to be successful, you MUST have ground rules as a couple. Let's say that again: you must have pre-established rules for what is okay and what is unacceptable. Some things to consider:

  • Who gets veto rights? And how do you voice them?
  • Will you have a “safe word” if one of you wants to end things immediately?
  • Is kissing on the mouth acceptable?
  • Girl-girl? Girl-guy? Guy-guy?
  • Is bondage / S&M on the table?
  • Will you play at home or only at a hotel?
  • Who handles protection?
  • Keep It Safe

    When hooking up with strangers, there's always the issue of safety. Will you go back to their house? Invite them to yours? Or is neutral ground a better bet? Determine what feels best for you ahead of time. If things change, you can always roll with the punches.

    Also, remember the protection! You don't want to find yourself in the process of meeting a great couple and then realize no one brought condoms, dental dams, or anything else. There's no worse mood killer.

    Keep the Communication Open

    If you have discussed expectations beforehand and considered any possible situations, maintain that level of open communication after the fact. Sometimes, feelings, concerns, and issues arise that you may not have anticipated. In some cases, you may realize that this isn't a fit, whereas in others, it might be just the thing that's been missing in your relationship!

    Tags : Swinger, Swinging, Lifestyle, Full Swap, Soft Swap, Boundaries, Communication

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    • My wife and I have talked about this a lot. We want to try soft swap. In our minds, soft swap includes everything except intercourse. We believe intercourse is an intimate thing to be experienced between just her and me. If ever given the opportunity to experience this lifestyle, we will do everything except intercourse. Hopefully it will happen one day.
      • We started many years ago. A couple of times in a full swap and afterwards shared experiences. On our first soft swap it was much more intimate and the eye to eye communications added to the experience. Now, we don't have to share notes. I love to watch her be satisfied which at my age isn't always happening.
        • This seems to be a sitiuation that trueswingers or a member could do us all a service by preparing such a form in several formats that a newbie couple could copy, modify and store on-line in a new section provided by trueswingers. Workable? Or as a link from the "soft swap" check box.
          • a lover, a long time ago, suggested it, an I said no. now, I think about it! an, maybe wish I had, just to see what itys like! im not bi sexual. can a woman, that doesn't have a man, get into this? is that rare? what are the rules about unattached women?
            • horny thinking about it
              • i don't think i do the job like i use too. if you have any ideas let me know, also a good site to join, thanks
                • hello, I want my wife and I to try swinging, I am 61 ,she 70, very sweet and good looking woman. I have trouble with ED from time to time, its not fair to her. I have talked to her many times , she says she don't want to. but she loves cream pie porn, she says why waste the sweet cum, I want it in my pussy, lol. now I am trying to get her to, lets join a swinger chat room and meet some people and chat some, will this help if we do join one? just wanted some ideas. I want her to be satisfied .
                  • I get really jealous but so horny
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