Candaulism
Definition 1:Candaulism is the practice where a person (usually a man) gets aroused and experiences pleasure when his/her partner is seen naked by others. Another definition includes sex, but for many it only is about sharing photos or having their wife seen naked. Other definition:Candaulism is the practice where a person (male or female) gets aroused and experiences pleasure seeing his/her...
- created by explorer3
Candaulism as a Safe Activity
Return to DiscussionsI get a thrill when another man sees my wife naked. Part of that is knowing that it's a safe activity. He gets to look but not touch. As long-time nudists, we have been in a number of situations like that. For example, I recently wrote about how my wife and I sunbathed nude on an old wooden dock in Key West. A young tourist couple who was sitting near us and a man who had docked a small boat had a very nice view of my wife in her birthday suit. They all had clothes on.
But there have also been a few times when the other person got to look AND touch. We had a gentleman friend who used to massage my wife. She felt comfortable being nude with him. I remember the first time he saw her naked. He told her that he thought that she had a nice body. Another time, she wore red fingernail polish for hm. He didn't have sex with her or anything like that except that he did get to massage her breasts. I guess that isn't strictly candaulism since he did get to touch her. I was thrilled that he liked seeing my wife naked.
These were safe situations. They did not lead to swinging or my wife having sex with other men. But they certainly enhanced our love life. I wonder if other candaulists think of this as a safe activity.
When it becomes "unsafe", based on my personal experience, is usually based on the "intent" of the person doing the touching and the setting. In an intimate setting away from a crowd, especially with alcohol involved, naked touching can easily escalate into groping. And if that leads to arousal, you can find yourself in a "spicy" situation that can be hard to deescalate. I'm sure some people here would love to see a guy getting hard as her rubs hid dick against their wife and fondles her tits; but that's a whole different ballgame.
Nudist resorts are pretty safe because there are rules about how far you can go with touching. At my resort we have a massage therapist on site; so it accepted. One of my friends often uses his services; although it is done privately away from the crowd. The "tactile" aspect of caundalism is present there; although very subdued. The "full-body hug" is the most common.
I'm still trying to convince my wife to "go all in" when one of our nudist friends solicit a hug from her. It hasn't worked...so far lol! They've all seen her pussy - even up close - but they still haven't had the pleasure of feeling her body pressed against theirs. I'd like nothing more than to see her tits pressed against their chest, their penis grazing her thigh as they swiftly run their hand over her ass. And I know it would all be perfectly safe.
When it becomes "unsafe", based on my personal experience, is usually based on the "intent" of the person doing the touching and the setting. In an intimate setting away from a crowd, especially with alcohol involved, naked touching can easily escalate into groping. ...Nudist resorts are pretty safe because there are rules
Of course, candaulism as a safe activity depends upon the setting. One time when my wife and I were sunbathing nude at a beach in Florida, a guy sat down only inches away from us and displayed a full erection. There wasn't anyone else around. I was very concerned for my wife's safety. At the other end of the safety spectrum would be the AANR nudist clubs where one seldom needs to be concerned about someone crossing a line. Somewhere in between there are opportunities to show one's wife in a sexy way without it becoming too risky. I feel that candualism wouldn't be as much fun if there wasn't at least SOME risk involved.
I think you're right when you point out the danger when alcohol is involved. It's very easy for some people to cross a line when they're under the influence. That's fine if you want things to progress.
Somewhere in between there are opportunities to show one's wife in a sexy way without it becoming too risky. I feel that candualism wouldn't be as much fun if there wasn't at least SOME risk involved.
I've found that the safest way to push the envelope in a more "traditional" nudist setting...is to make it look "accidental/unintentional."
I remember this woman at a nudist resort, the first one my wife and I went to together. She was laying by the pool, literally spread-eagled to the point her shaven pussy was open. She appeared to be sleeping. So it was hard to tell if she was deliberately exposing her pussy, or if her legs had just parted as she slept. Her husband was quite awake and sitting next to her; so it was quite possible he was a candaulist enjoying people seeing his wife's pink pussy. There is always a risk someone will be "triggered"; but the risk is mitigated by the fact that most people don't want to cause a scene at a nudist resort. Now, had she been fully awake, sitting up spread-eagled; she probably would have given the appearance of exhibitionism. But when in doubt, most people will abstain from openly reacting.
I've talked about my wife and her being fully exposed while straddling a paddle-board. Also to the point where her pussy was open. Again, it appeared involuntary, as my wife had previously fallen in the water and seemed unable to maintain her balance. And to some degree, it started out involuntary. But I know my wife enough to know that she ended up enjoying the fact that she was completely exposed; although no one else would have been able to tell the difference.
The same goes for one time where she was bent over adjusting her towel for a longer time than was necessary. She knew that if anyone got hard looking at her, they would feel compelled to hide it so as to not get in trouble.
The only issue is: familiarity. At this point of going to the same resort for many years now, and since my wife now shaves bald, all our friends and acquaintances have seen my wife's exposed pussy at some point. I still enjoy it when other people see her that way; but it is certainly "not new" to anyone at this point. Unless we kept visiting new resorts all the time, it would be hard to keep it "fresh and exciting" lol!
I've found that the safest way to push the envelope in a more "traditional" nudist setting...is to make it look "accidental/unintentional."
When I created the topic of "Candualism as a Safe Activity", I was thinking mostly of the dangers of my wife being sexually assaulted or of us being arrested. But you're right that there are risks at a nudist club if a woman were to brazenly expose her body in a sexual manner. But the most serious consequence would probably be that she would be told not to come back.
I do like the way that you think. I would guess that the woman who was laying by the pool spread eagle knew what she was doing. She probably figured that, by pretending to be sleeping, she could freely expose herself to other people without getting in trouble. She also probably knew that her husband enjoyed having other people seeing her pink pussy. In that regard, she was also pleasing her candaulist husband. Thay probably had some great sex later when they got home.
When your wife was fully exposed while straddling a paddle board, she may have figured that she had the excuse that people would perceive that her position was necessary. I don't know much about paddle boarding. Maybe she could have chosen to do that in a different position. Regardless, no one could criticize her for that. And when she lost her balance, she could have done that "accidentally on purpose". Her behavior was subtle enough despite all of that. No one could tell for sure whether she was deliberately exposing herself. That created a safe situation in terms of her not getting in trouble.
I can relate to your story about your wife bending over to adjust her towel "for a longer time than necessary". I have seen my wife do the same thing by the pool at our nudist club. It's an interesting thought that your wife "knew that if anyone got hard looking at her, they would feel compelled to hide it so as to not get in trouble." I love the idea that your wife may have been a bit of a tease and that maybe she liked the idea that another man would get turned on from seeing her naked body. She probably liked the idea that the person would be forced to quickly hide his erection by turning onto his stomach or covering himself with a towel. There's nothing wrong with her behavior being a bit naughty. In fact, I think it's very healthy.
I like the idea of my wife causing a guy to get an erection when he is unable to hide it. That happened one time when she was dancing nude with a friend in the clubhouse at our nudist club. We were friends with his wife and him. It was later in the evening and it was less likely that someone would make a complaint. But it wasn't entirety safe. Someone could have complained. The only thing she did to cause him to get an erection was to dance nude with him. Candaulism is more fun when there is at least some risk.
Concerning "familiarity", you wrote that all your friends at the nudist club have seen your wife's exposed pussy at some point. Your suggestion is that the familiarity makes it less exciting for you when other people see your wife naked. Our experience is that there are often new people visiting our nudist club during the summer, especially on the weekends when they hold dances and other events. Sometimes it is the first time they have ever been to a nudist club.
Years ago, my wife and I used to attend the nude swims at a recreation facility during the winter. One day, a woman we were talking to (she was there with her husband) told us that she could always tell when a guy was nude in public for the first time. She apparently enjoyed the idea that he would be teased by seeing her naked body. I imagine that she liked to flirt with some of the single guys, knowing that they didn't have much control over their arousal. I was surprised that she told us that as we didn't know her, but I thought "good for you."
Another time when my wife and I were at the swim, she went to take a quick rinse in the shower in the locker room. Both men and women used the same locker room because we were all nudists. Anyway, this one guy who was working for the recreation faculty that night (and was lifeguarding and supervising things for part of the time) happened to walk into the locker room while my wife was drying herself with a towel. Not being a nudist, he was wearing a swimsuit. My wife told me later that she felt uncomfortable the way he was checking her out. She was completely nude and no one else was around. On the other hand, I was very turned on by what she told me afterward. It was a thrill for me to know that this guy got turned on by looking at my naked wife. She was only in her mid 20s at the time. There definitely was some risk though. Potentially, it wasn't a completely safe situation. We didn't know this person. What if he tried to be familiar with my wife? It wasn't very likely because one of the other nudists could have walked into the locker room at any time. This is an example of candualism (although unintentional) where the situation wasn't entirely safe.