RE:Context is everything

A lovely story. I'm left wondering if, although there was no negative reaction, did you give any indication to him that you were okay with it or even took it as a compliment? If I was in that situation, a subtle affirmation that you were fine with what was happening would mean a lot. Not as a sign to take any relationship further, just to put me at ease that you're comfortable with my reaction to your presence.

I guess what I'd say to this is sort of also about the context. We'd been interacting and mildly flirting, yes, but nothing had gotten to the point of indicating we were going to do anything more than that. His energy definitely told me he was quite interested in having sex with me, and part of me wanted to engage in that avenue. But it wasn't really where I was in the moment, and I've learned not to let myself drift away too far from where I know myself to be. So, without inviting and leading on his sexual intentions or, conversely, embarrassing him further, I don't know what I might've done or said, other than simply not react negatively.

To some degree, what you bring up is an interesting thing about how there isn't really a language for the subtleties we might want to express in our interactions and the way we feel. We can't unload the whole contents of our heads and make ourselves known fully, to others. This is especially true where it comes to the complexities of our sexuality. How do you shorthand to someone the thought that 'I really like you a lot and it feels really special, intimate, and delightfully, playfully sensual to be naked with you. I'm pleased and flattered you're turned on and I really do honor your desire to have sex with me. I have zero problems with your erect penis, which is beautiful and incredibly hot, by the way, but at this time, having nothing to do with you, personally, I'm not wanting to be pulled in the direction of engaging in sexual activity with anyone.' If I could convey all that with a look, with body language, or a couple words, I would. But... yeah... it's always more complicated than what it may otherwise seem.

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RE:Context is everything

You're a great writer, WaterLilly. I'm impressed!

But I agree with everything you said.
A few years ago my wife and I were at an "adults-only" nudist venue, playing pool alone late at night. We were joined by a younger couple. While interacting, drinking and playing with them, I suddenly noticed the young man was sporting a full erection. To be fair, I didn't know whether his erection was just spontaneous and alcohol induced, or was caused by watching my wife "energetically" playing pool naked. Mostly, I was concerned about my wife's reaction upon noticing his erect state. But to my surprise, she continued interacting with him completely naturally. His GF was also herself undaunted.
Here's the "thing." There was nothing in his overall behavior that indicated prurient interest. He was actually very friendly and a bit shy. So my wife saw no reason to bring attention to his erection or feel self-conscious about having possibly caused his erection. We continued playing pool and socializing until the wee hours.

So yes; context is everything, as well as behavior. A "perfect gentleman", even with an erection, is still a "perfect gentleman." I'm glad my wife understood this.

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RE:Context is everything

Here's the "thing." There was nothing in his overall behavior that indicated prurient interest. He was actually very friendly and a bit shy. So my wife saw no reason to bring attention to his erection or feel self-conscious about having possibly caused his erection. We continued playing pool and socializing until the wee hours...So yes; context is everything, as well as behavior. A "perfect gentleman", even with an erection, is still a "perfect gentleman." I'm glad my wife understood this.

I couldn't have said it better. A "perfect gentleman", even with an erection, is still a "perfect gentleman." When that guy got an erection while playing pool with your wife and you, your wife handled the situation appropriately by not bringing attention to his erection and by continuing to socialize as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

In Water Lilly's story, the man she was chatting with " lost control and hit a point of no return because he very quickly experienced a full erection". Clearly, it was not his intention to exhibit an erection in front of her. It just happened. Water Lilly was flattered that he was turned on from seeing her naked. She felt that was completely natural.

But where does one draw the line? If a man intentionally gets an erection in front of a woman he doesn't know well, is that okay?

The situation when your wife and you were playing pool with the other couple appears a bit more ambiguous to me (as compared to Lilly's story). You wrote, "I didn't know whether his erection was just spontaneous and alcohol induced, or was caused by watching my wife "energetically" playing pool naked." I think the story is especially exciting because of the idea that the guy may have lost control from seeing your beautiful wife naked. But you don't really know what his intentions were. Just because he was shy didn't mean that he didn't enjoy showing off an erection. That doesn't mean to say that the person was not a gentleman.

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RE:Context is everything

I've had tons of other such experiences over the years, where it's just not been any kind of big deal and -- in fact -- totally natural for erections to occur. To me it feels better if there's no arbitrary prohibition on it, but also if guys can manage to gauge the context and try to avoid being over the top with it. I just like it better if it doesn't have to be a point of awkwardness or embarrassment for anyone.

I enjoyed this story. The person did not intend to get an erection. It just happened. The best thing to do in that situation was for both persons to continue chatting as if nothing was unusual.

Shortly after we were married, my wife and I used to visit a rustic nudist camp. She was in her mid 20s at the time. I was standing talking with the owner when my wife bent down to get something out of our bag. The sight of her nude body in that position suddenly caused me to get an erection. I was hoping that the owner wouldn't notice it but, of course, he did. He wasn't very happy about it. It would have been better if he understood that my erection was not deliberate.

I would be interested in hearing from guys who unintentionally got an erection while chatting with a woman at a nudist club. How did you manage the situation? Were you embarrassed? How did the woman react?

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RE:Context is everything

Love how deeply are you able to describe your thougts and feelings Lili!

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RE:Context is everything

Very well Written so refreshing that there are people that feel that it is a natural thing that happens to most guys.

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RE:Context is everything

Sadly here in New Zealand erections are frowned apon and since we must have a towel to cover up in case they. Which in all my years at naturist clubs or camps no guy walks around erect sadly as it is so nice in the right setting to see a guy fully erect and i love laying in the warm sun fully hard.
As a few of my pictures say in my profile lol.

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