If you're in the swinging lifestyle, you know there are places to meet playmates: online at sites such as TrueSwingers.com or at a local swingers' club, for example. But we all have friends, and some of our friends would be great playmates, right? So how do you bridge the gap from friend to a bit more than that? Obviously, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it! But take heart: You may just be able to recruit that guy or gal you've been considering.
It's Going to Take Some Time
No matter how long someone has been your friend, just expressing, “Hey, my spouse and I are swingers, and we're wondering if you'd like to play with us sometime†will probably NOT go over well! But you can plant the seeds. When sex and relationships come up in conversation, let your friend know that you and your partner have a more open relationship. If it's a same-gender person, let him or her know that you're bisexual or that you're open to your partner being with another woman/man. Tell your friend that you welcome questions about the lifestyle. Taking out the mystery can often get those wheels turning for the person to think about possibilities.
Invite Your Friend to Lower-Risk Activities
If you host house parties that are either for friends in the lifestyle or are clothing-optional (such as a pool party), invite your friend to join. For swinger parties, the action doesn't usually start right away, so let your friend know what's up and then invite him or her to join early on, and then let him or her know when it might be a good time to leave. Nudist pool parties are usually very low pressure, and it's okay for people to wear clothing as well, so that's a great way to get your friend to open up a bit. You can also invite him or her with a specific task in mind (e.g., bartender, greeter), so there is something to do instead of just standing around feeling awkward.
While it's never a for-certain that you will get your friend to join in your swinger activities, we've all heard of those “remember that time when we…†stories. If you've always wanted to be in Penthouse Forum, you might just need to set up the right scenario to turn those dreams into a reality!
